Are You An Overwhelmed Middle Age Mom? I Know You
I believe that after five years of writing this plants Blog, I need to introduce myself for who I really am.
I owe it to you.
I am also at a point in my life in which I have the urge to express how I feel about womanhood and motherhood in today’s society. This one I owe to my younger self, and to all those women who have struggled or continue to struggle with understanding, managing and navigating ambitions and priorities.
So, here we go.
introducing myself after 5 years
I am a middle mom in 2024.
For those of you who don’t know, a middle mom is a middle age mother between the age of 40 and 65.
Another, and more graceful, word to define this phase in life is middle adulthood.
Generally, a middle mom has one or more children in middle school and/or high school.
Being a middle mom in 2024 also makes me a Gen-X mom.
Based on my year of birth, 1979, I am in the early phase of middle motherhood, but also right at the end of Generation X. I am squeezed into both labels, even though I feel like I belong to both like a dirty shirt.
But why do I need, or even want to fit into such labels?
Perhaps to validate all my feelings, emotions, frustrations, and anxieties.
It turns out it’s not just me.
In-fact, belonging to a group, association, or even a generation, creates a sense of community. It helps us feel seen and understood, and mostly validated.
Like the vast majority of Gen-X moms, I am exhausted and overwhelmed.
I feel entitled to say this even though I quit my employed career after a nervous breakdown in 2017. (If you want more details on my background check-out the About Me Page).
My family is my main employer.
What I do on the side to financially contribute to the wealth of my family comes after the needs of everyone else in the family.
So, I do understand the feelings of those mothers in the workplace, because I have been there, and of those who are exclusively dedicating themselves to their family. Amen to all of you!
I had no choice but to quit my career. It was hard, very hard because I’ve always been ambitious and I had finally obtained the title and position I had been chasing since I was quite young.
It was extra hard for me coming from another country, learning a new language and trade lingo, and having to prove my over-seas education. I spent countless hours studying and preparing for my professional exam during my maternity leave while my baby was being rocked by a battery operated swing.
I had a lot of resentment for quitting my job. It was mostly a societal resentment.
My family. From left to right; Myself with little westie dog Luna, my husband Paul with westie dog Rufus, my tween daughter Gaia and my teen son Nicholas.
The middle age mom
If you are a middle age mom, a mom in your middle adulthood, or a Gen-X mom, call it what you want, you have reasons to feel overwhelmed and anxious.
You are not alone.
There is plenty of literature that backs and validate yours (and mine) feelings of anxiety.
Gen-X moms have being raised by parents who believed in Gurley Brown’s mantra that “Women Can Have It All”. 😡 That was 1982.
42 years later, social media are still perpetuating such belief!
Do I dare to say YOU CAN’T HAVE IT ALL?!?!
Hey Midlife Mom!
Reclaim 10 Hours in Your Day With My 5 Day E-Mail Guide Without Sacrificing Family Time, Even If You Are Already Multitasking From 5 am Till Midnight
If you are reading this and are fresh out of school with a lot of ambition, I am sorry, I don’t mean to crush your dream. I was exactly like you, and that’s probably why I crushed extra hard!
I am not saying that if you are a new mother or a millennial you are not entitled to be anxious, frustrated, and overwhelmed. Au contraire!
I’ve been there; I’ve done that. There are so many new challenges to navigate when you are a new mother.
You CAN have it all; a good career, a good marriage and a family and even lead a healthy life, as long as you give yourself a lot of self-compassion. Don’t fall for all the social media accounts specialized in different aspects of life, showing you how you can achieve absolute perfection in everything: fitness, a vegan diet, home decor and organization, homeschooling, make-up and skin routine and meditating. It’s impossible.
The difference between young motherhood and middle motherhood is that when you blossom into middle motherhood, you are already exhausted by everything you’ve done in the previous years: juggling a family and a career while trying to maintain health and appearance.
Now, you have to face the additional challenges of aging parents needing more help and support, and children growing into adolescents with hormonal storms and/or social issues.
As Ada Calhoun puts it in her article “The New Midlife Crisis For Women”, middle motherhood is the stage when we need to prioritize taking care of everyone else while we ourselves are the most tired and overwhelmed.
This is exactly where I find myself at this phase of my life.
I am an overwhelmed middle age mom who has finally relinquished the idea of ‘having it all’, and striving for perfection in everything I do.
Looking less than picture perfect, I’m taking care of a disgruntled Monstera. But guess what? This pruning and training process was extremely beneficial for both my plant and me. It was therapeutic for me and invigorating for my Monstera.
how do plants fit into all of this?
You may ask: “How do plants fit into all of this?”
Or better yet: “How do you find time for all your plants after telling me how exhausted you are?”
The answer is simple.
Plants became my anxiety therapy when I quit my job.
I always wanted to be honest about my intentions, though. I never wanted to be a hypocrite perpetuating the social media illusion that makes so many of us feel inadequate. All the pictures in my posts and blogs are mine. They are not perfect and they don’t portray the perfect, manicured plant. I am aware of it.
While I know how to care for plants and love having lots of them around our home, they are not perfect!
I have pests, I have diseases, and browning tips like everyone else, and I often struggle to keep up with watering them all.
However, what makes plants so special to me is that when I get to water them and caring for them (from pruning to repotting), I get a sense of peace and relief.
When I am frantic about packing for a trip and organizing everyone’s carry-on liquid allowance, I bring my anxiety down by watering all my plants.
I know I am not crazy because several research papers back up my feelings. (Read this Blog if you are interested!).
This is how My Tasteful Space was born 5 years ago.
Not much of a hobby. More of a way to report and share the loving relationship I have with plants. An exchange of love; I give them love and attention, they give me calming and positive energy.
Now you understand why I blog about plants!
If you are like me, an overwhelmed, middle age mom who loves plants and wants to be part of a community of like-minded mothers, click to take the quiz below.
Not only will you receive the personalized houseplant that reduces your anxiety, but you will also receive relatable blogs on topics such as:
- middle motherhood dilemmas
- plants care
- self-care
So that you can feel supported by a close-knit group of women like you.
Let’s create together a supportive community of middle moms!
Click the link below and take the quiz!
Hey Midlife Mom!
Reclaim 10 Hours in Your Day With My 5 Day E-Mail Guide Without Sacrificing Family Time, Even If You Are Already Multitasking From 5 am Till Midnight
You taught me something new today! I hadn’t heard of the term “middle mom” before, but it definitely resonates. Here’s to creating a middle mom community! <3